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Buffering the Effects of Betrayal

The Role of Apology, Forgiveness, and Commitment

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Handbook of Interpersonal Commitment and Relationship Stability

Abstract

Most people who enter a close relationship do so with the expectation that it will be a rewarding experience. Quite often, these expectations prove to be well founded, and the witty, intelligent, attentive, romantic, and reliable person with whom one fell in love continues to be witty, intelligent, attentive, romantic, and reliable as the relationship evolves into a mutually satisfying and long-lasting union. But sometimes these expectations are not borne out, as reflected in the all too common lament that one’s partner is not the same person he or she was at the beginning of the relationship. Even more dramatically, one’s expectations that a partner will be truthful, honest, and faithful can be shattered utterly by the occurrence of a single act of betrayal that undermines the trust, commitment, and love one had in one’s partner. Indeed, the victims of betrayal commonly report feeling that both their identity and their psychological well-being have been threatened as a result of the experience (Jones & Burdette, 1994). Moreover, research shows that when a betrayal is perpetrated, the result often is a reduction in relationship satisfaction, weakened commitment, inhibition of trust, and stunted interpersonal growth, and perhaps the discontinuation of the relationship itself (Jones, Couch, & Scott, 1997). It seems apparent, therefore, that violations of trust and commitment through acts of betrayal have powerful effects on close relationships and are, it may be argued, the greatest threat to the structural integrity of intimate pair bonds.

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Couch, L.L., Jones, W.H., Moore, D.S. (1999). Buffering the Effects of Betrayal. In: Adams, J.M., Jones, W.H. (eds) Handbook of Interpersonal Commitment and Relationship Stability. Perspectives on Individual Differences. Springer, Boston, MA. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4615-4773-0_26

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