ABSTRACT
The need to feel that one belongs can result in a disconcerting experience of being thrust into the center of our own life in a way that is overwhelming. This experience of our humanity can expose a deep ambivalence about the risk of feeling invested in and vulnerable to others, causing us to defend against the possibility of closeness to others. To address this, we chase after substitutes that provide ephemeral, fleeting relief that are neither satisfying nor fulfilling and only temporarily reduce our anxiety. This adds to our frustration, making us feel even less safe and comfortable in our own skin—less “okay.” Sometimes, however, we stumble into experiences that unexpectedly suggest the possibility of solutions that go beyond momentary relief of anxiety reduction and, instead, provide genuine solutions to the pattern of running from one obsession to the next. In other words, it’s possible to live our lives in the pause between an anxious thought and anxiety-relieving action—in the “space between obsessions.” This chapter follows the course of a psychoanalytic consultation with a community organization that brings to light the themes of anxiety around closeness and trust, finally resolving them through mutual exposure of vulnerability.
