Parenting paradox: Parenting after infant loss
Introduction
It is commonly reported that bereaved parents, in the pregnancy after the death of an infant, may delay emotional attachment to their coming baby for fear of another loss (Lewis, 1979; Armstrong and Hutti, 1998; Cote–Arsenault and Marshall, 2000; Lamb, 2002; O’Leary, 2004). Literature in this area also discusses the subsequent child in terms of being a ‘replacement’ (Cain and Cain, 1964; Anisfeld and Richards, 2000), ‘vulnerable’ (Green and Solnit, 1964; Sabbadini, 1988; Grout and Romanoff, 2000) and ‘penumbra’ (shadow) (Reid, 2003; Kempson et al., 2008), who may be subject to increased risk of psychopathology (Anisfeld and Richards, 2000) including attachment disorders (Sabbadini, 1988; Powell, 1995; Reid, 2007; O’Leary and Thorwick, 2008).
Furthermore, literature acknowledges that parents may be anxious when pregnant again (Armstrong and Hutti, 1998; Robertson and Kavanaugh, 1998; Warland, 2000) and in the postpartum period (Warland, 2000; O’Leary et al., 2006). This apprehension can extend into parenting subsequent infants (Theut et al., 1992; Lamb, 2002). This anxiety may have far-reaching consequences for both the bereaved parent and/or the subsequent child (Cote–Arsenault and Marshall, 2000), especially if parents become overprotective (Parker, 1983). Whilst there is considerable literature concerning parents’ experiences of loss of an infant at or around birth as well as during the subsequent pregnancy, the literature is almost silent on parents’ experiences of parenting after loss or the longer-term effect that the loss may have on parenting style. Such literature as exists on this topic is reviewed here.
Section snippets
Parental overprotection and anxiety
It is normal for all adults to protect their young from danger; however, bereaved parents have been described as more likely to be extra vigilant, with a rapid response to any sign of trouble or danger (Rosenblatt, 2000). Overprotection, defined as ‘behaviours beyond what most parents would do in similar circumstances’ (Thomasgard and Metz, 1993, p. 67), is also something to which bereaved parents can be more prone. For example, Pantke and Slade (2006) asked adolescents to recall their parents’
Subjects and methods
A qualitative approach was chosen as the most appropriate method of exploring families’ experiences of raising their subsequent child (Flick, 2009). Semi-structured interviews were used to enable the conversations to be purposively steered in the direction of the topic (Flick, 2009, p. 185).
Community organisations that offer support to the target population such as SANDS (Stillbirth And Neonatal Death Support) and ‘SIDS & Kids’ (Sudden Infant Death Support) were approached and agreed to
Sample
Thirteen bereaved parents (10 female and three male) participated in 11 interviews. There were eight mothers alone, two couples together and one father alone. Although only three fathers are included in this sample, it was felt important not to discount their comments, especially as there is a lack of research on fathering and we wanted to describe experiences of parents.
The participants were bereaved through stillbirth, neonatal death, SIDS or sudden death in infancy. They were all recruited
Discussion
The results of this study both confirm and support previous research findings, and suggest several new paths for future exploration.
The only other published study which has examined parenting after perinatal loss reported mothers needing constant reassurance regarding the physical health of their subsequent child, and fearing failure to notice a medical problem might mean the child would die (Theut et al., 1992, p. 164). Our findings suggest that these fears and anxieties not only occur when
Conclusions
The results from this study indicate that loss of an infant has far-reaching consequences on subsequent parenting. This research shows that bereaved parents can adopt a paradoxical parenting style when parenting after a perinatal or early infant loss. There is a need for research into the effect of this on not only the emotional development of the subsequent child, but also other children already in the family, and the mental health status of the bereaved parents. Further research is required
Conflict of interest statement
All authors declare no conflict of interest.
Funding
This research received no specific grant from any funding agency in the public, commercial or not-for-profit sectors.
Acknowledgement
We thank the study participants.
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