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Intimate Violence Against Women: Trajectories for Pastoral Care in a New Millennium

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Abstract

This article reviews progress made in the theory and practice of pastoral care and counseling with regard to the issue of intimate violence against women since the 1970’s. It includes a comprehensive survey of sociological, psychological, and pastoral literature, and a summary of research on teaching about domestic violence in mainline Protestant seminaries. Social and theological themes, including gender, power, and social and political context, and the challenges of justice-making are traced historically. The article concludes with new recommendations for churches, pastoral caregivers, counselors, and theologians.

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Notes

  1. Intimate partner violence is now the preferred term, recognizing that not all intimate violence occurs in the home (as implied by the term domestic violence) or in the context of heterosexual marriage (as implied in terms such as spousal abuse or wife abuse.) In this article, I will use intimate partner violence and domestic violence interchangeably, particularly with regard to the battered women’s movement’s historical usage of domestic violence.

  2. More recent tables of raw data and digest reports are also available updated regularly at U.S. Dept. of Justice ( 2011 ) Bureau of Justice Statistics.

  3. The earlier disparity between the BJS statistics and those gathered by researchers at the University of New Hampshire through the 1985 National Family Violence Survey (Straus and Gelles 1990 ) is best understood in terms of methodological problems with the UNH study’s instrument, the Conflict Tactics Scale (CTS). For recent, comprehensive critiques of the CTS, see DeKeseredy and Schwartz ( 1998 ); Loseke and Kurz ( 2005 ); Dobash et al. ( 1992 ). Tjaden and Thoennes ( 2000 ) go on to say in their Executive Summary, “Studies are needed to determine how different survey methodologies affect women's and men's responses to questions about intimate partner violence.”

  4. The term “second wave feminism” refers to the resurgence of movements for women’s rights around the time of the civil rights movement in the U.S. The “first wave” refers to the feminist movement in the 19th and early 20th century, including the suffragists Elizabeth Cady Stanton and others, who drew on Enlightenment principles of equality and emancipation. “Second wave feminism” is also used, especially in literary theory, to refer to the shift to an emphasis on difference, and challenging of traditional cultural gender norms. A new “third wave feminism” is now being identified with postmodern efforts at deconstruction of binary categories, and an emphasis on social construction, gesture, performance, and fluidity of gender. For “a genealogy of gender from ancient times through three waves of feminist debate,” see Colebrook (2004). For an accessible discussion of feminist literary theory, see Moi (1988).

  5. Historians identify the underground movement of women sheltering abused women beginning in the west at least many centuries earlier. The Casa del Soccorso in Bologna c. 1563 and the Compagnia di Santa Maddalena sopra le Malmaritate in 16th c. Florence are two examples (Cohen 1992; Ferrante 1990). Thanks to Jennea Tallentire at the University of British Columbia for these references.

  6. For a more detailed timeline, see SafeNetwork (1999). For more detailed historical accounts, see Dobash and Dobash (1992), and Heinemann (1996). For a legal history through 1995, see Lemon (1996).

  7. Pizzey was a controversial figure, whose subsequent co-authored book Prone to Violence (1982) raised a storm of feminist protest.

  8. See full bio at http://www.religionandpluralism.org/MarieFortune.htm.

  9. Some sources date this even earlier, in 1974, e.g., SafeNetwork 1999.

  10. Two subsequent field hearings in Phoenix, Arizona and Harrisburg, PA, resulted in the report The Federal Response to Domestic Violence: A Report of the United States Commission on Civil Rights, (U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, 1982). Subsequent state reports from Connecticut, New Hampshire and New Jersey have been submitted to the USCCR, and an article soon appeared in the Civil Rights Journal (Coukos 1998). Coukos noted, “Four years after the passage of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), and well over two decades after the founding of the nation's first battered women's shelters, domestic violence continues to plague women and children in the United States. The VAWA hearings provided a national wake-up call about a shockingly high rate of battering in our society and a sadly inadequate response. Congress documented that our police departments, prosecutors and courts, deeply infected with gender bias, often failed to respond to domestic violence as a crime or blamed the victim for the violence. The VAWA began a major Federal commitment to improving the criminal justice system and services for battered women by providing Federal dollars and encouraging local partnerships among criminal justice systems and victim advocacy organizations. At this juncture we can report important progress, but tragic deficiencies remain” (p. 29).

  11. In addition to continuing work by the FaithTrust Institute in Seattle, WA (formerly the Center for the Prevention of Domestic Violence) (see FaithTrust Institute 2009), which had expanded to national programming and publication of resources, smaller cooperative groups of domestic violence workers and educated church leaders began to organize local prevention efforts. For example, the Family Violence Project (now called the Family Violence Prevention Fund) in San Francisco began clergy trainings through the formation of a task force of battered women’s advocates from local agencies and churches in 1987.

  12. Created through the “Stamp Out Domestic Violence Act,” sponsored by U.S. Senator Nighthorse Campbell (R-CO) in 2001.

  13. Slogan originated by the Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women and used in a variety of children’s educational materials.

  14. Verizon also provided sponsorship for the Florida Clothesline Project. See http://www.prweekus.com/verizon-tackles-domestic-abuse/article/107793. Accessed June, 2008.

  15. National Criminal Justice Reference Service, “Spotlight on Family Violence, Legislation,” (NCJRS 2010); See also the Dept. of Justice (2011), Office on Violence Against Women.

  16. For complete bio see http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/herstory/p/DelMartin.htm: “With her partner Phyllis Lyon, Del Martin wrote Lesbian/Woman in 1972. The book documents the history of the lesbian movement and calls for equal rights for lesbians. Martin also was active in the feminist movement and wrote Battered Woman about domestic violence. Active all these years: In addition to working for lesbian rights, Del Martin has been a leader in feminist and civil rights causes. She was the first out lesbian elected to the National Organization for Women (NOW). She is a founding member of the Alice B. Toklas Lesbian/Gay Democratic Club. She is also the founder of Old Lesbians Organizing for Change, fighting ageism and homophobia together. Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon became the first couple to legally marry in the United States on February 12, 2004 in San Francisco, California.”

  17. Soon after, Roy also co-authored Up from Battering (Roy and Caro 1981), and The Abusive Partner (Roy 1981). Roy went on to interview 146 children of battered women and published one of the earliest accounts of the damaging effects of domestic violence on children in Children in the Crossfire: Violence in the Home - How Does It Affect Our Children? (Roy 1988).

  18. A term first used in connection with the oppression of the poor, and an analysis of the politics around government welfare programs, by sociologist William Ryan (1976).

  19. Walker has continued to work in the field, including Terrifying Love: Why Battered Women Kill and How Society Responds (1989), Abused Women and Survivor Therapy: A Practical Guide for the Psychotherapist (2000), and a 3rd edition of The Battered Woman Syndrome (1984/2009).

  20. For example, Dutton’s (2001) work speaks to the inadequacy of battered woman syndrome for describing battered women's experiences, whether for the purposes of expert testimony, counseling, or advocacy. For example, there is no single profile of a battered woman; the term `battered woman syndrome' is vague and creates an image of pathology; battered woman syndrome has often been defined as post-traumatic stress disorder trauma yet ‘post-traumatic stress disorder,’ compared to other psychological reactions to battering, is not uniquely relevant for understanding legal (or other) domestic violence related issues.

  21. Seal Press more recently also moved to the Bay Area, to Emeryville, CA.

  22. For a history of Volcano Press see http://www.volcanopress.com/.

  23. For later works on this subject, see also Renzetti 1992, including an excellent section of resources as well as guidelines for shelters; Lundy 1998; and Renzetti and Miley 1996, which addresses violence in both lesbian and gay partnered relationships.

  24. For all current titles and a history of the Press, see http://www.sealpress.com.

  25. Later, see also Bergen 1996.

  26. Later on this subject, see also Ewing 1987 and Walker 1989.

  27. For an excellent review of goals and methods of batterer intervention programs, written for courts and criminal justice agencies, see also Healey et al. (1998).

  28. Lexington Press, Springer Verlag, and Sage Publications Publishers published the most domestic violence social science research and clinical treatment manuals in the 1980’s. Lexington’s books include Bowker 1983; Gelles and Cornell 1983; Shupe 1987; Horton and Hampton 1991; Gondolf and Fisher 1998; and Nguyen 2005. Springer’s titles in family violence research are numerous, including Walker 1984; Sonkin 1987; Sonkin et al. 1985; Roberts 1998; Ammerman and Hersen 1991/2000; Jenkins and Davidson 2001; Loue 2001. Springer also published the Journal of Family Violence beginning in 1985. Sage Publications’s titles are cited separately below.

  29. Literature from this group includes Straus et al. 1980; Finkelhor et al. 1983; Gelles and Cornell 1983; Gelles 1987; Gelles and Straus 1988; Gelles et al. 2005; Straus and Gelles 1990.

  30. Summarized in Cooper-White 1990, p. 4; for more detailed arguments, see the journal debate between McNeely and Robinson-Simpson 1987; and Saunders et al. 1988. See also Dobash et al. 1992.

  31. Dobash & Dobash, Women, 1992, especially Ch. 8, “Knowledge and Social Change,” pp. 251–82.

  32. E.g., “Grounded Theory,” Strauss and Corbin 1998. For more on qualitative research methods, see Creswell 1997. For philosophical issues underlying qualitative vs. quantitative research, see Lincoln and Guba 1985, and Guba 1990.

  33. One of the first such ethnographic studies was conducted by sociologist Lee Bowker in Ending the Violence: A Guidebook Based on the Experiences of 1,000 Battered Women (1986). Gondolf and Fisher (1988) analyzed 6,000 shelter intake and exit interviews to challenge the assumption that women are “unable to help themselves,” but rather than “women’s help-seeking efforts increase with the severity of battering.”

  34. Sipe gives an autobiographical account of her experiences of resistance and healing from domestic violence together with commentary from her therapist Evelyn Hall.

  35. Elshtain, drawing in part on the work of Hannah Arendt, wrote a rebuttal of Schechter’s (1982) Women and Male Violence, as too universal in its blaming of patriarchy for violence, and too idealistic. Elshtain offers few alternatives, however, and ends by praising the battered women’s movement on the grounds of “creation of political space, development of participatory capacities, and fundamental human decency” (p. 269).

  36. Gunn’s (1986) The Sacred Hoop does include a chapter on women’s anger, and Mihesuah (2003) notes the rise of violence against Native American women. The Dept. of Justice has also very recently begun tracking domestic violence crimes specifically against Native American women (U.S. Dept. of Justice 2009).

  37. Kornfeld (2004), re: consultations with Muslim imams and community leaders in New York, NY on pastoral care and counseling after 9/11.

  38. A pioneer in this work was Sharifa Alkhateeb, who “created the Peaceful Families Project of FaithTrust Institute. She worked closely with Rev. Dr. Marie Fortune, Rev. Thelma Burgonio-Watson and Rabbi Cindy Enger to provide training for domestic violence advocates and religious leaders through our technical assistance grants from the Office on Violence Against Women” http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org/. Resistance among Muslim women against domestic violence is beginning to appear on the Internet. For example, see Alam (2009); Musaji (2009).

  39. For an exegetical examination of forgiveness and reconciliation in the biblical sources, see Cooper-White (1995), 253–62, and Cooper-White (2008).

  40. See also tracts “About Wife Abuse,” and “Family Violence” from Scriptographic Booklets (Deerfield, MA: Channing L. Bete Co., n.d.].

  41. This resource was intended for formerly battered women; for safety reasons, women currently in violent relationships were referred in the resource to local domestic violence agencies. The resource called for a confidential peer group format, and was not designed as a clinical/therapeutic group. A Leader’s Guide emphasized safety, creating a safe climate for women in congregations, and practical information as well as biblical and theological resources for peer group leaders. The participants’ guides offered spiritual, theological, and advocacy-based education and reflection exercises in an 8-week structured format.

  42. For mission statement, news, and bibliographies, see http://www.thecirclecawt.org/.

  43. Miles serves as Coordinator of the hospital ministry at The Queen's Medical Center in Hawaii. For a feature story on Miles’ ministry see http://starbulletin.com/2002/08/03/features/story1.html.

  44. Important sources for this argument include Lamb 1999, and from the Restorative Justice perspective, Stubbs (2002) and Grauwiler and Mills (2004). Further consideration of this issue of victimization will appear in the Introduction to Cooper-White, The Cry of Tamar, 2nd rev. ed. (forthcoming 2012).

  45. Other early articles included Simmons 1981, and Bowker 1982.

  46. Paul Wellstone, “Domestic Violence as a Health-Care Issue,” Tikkun 9 (1994), 19–20, 106.

  47. Three other Lutheran journals also published articles on domestic violence in the 1990’s, including Castleton 1990; Schlueter 1994 and Erickson 1994.

  48. Wood and McHugh 1994; Gross and Stith 1996; Cooper-White 1996a), Burnett 1997, and Rotunda et al. 2004.

  49. Anderson and Fite (1993) helpfully discuss power sharing, mutual recognition and empathy (pp. 127–33), but there is no explicit mention of violence in marriage. Anderson et al. (1995) focus on mature marriage and “empty-nesters.” A variety of crises are addressed in some detail, including infidelity, but not violence. Abuse is mentioned only once in passing (p. 94) in the context of the need for ritualizing the ending of a marriage when such ending is necessary. Butler (2000) helpfully links the evils of sexism and racism, and the rage of invisibility and post-traumatic effects of a history of enslavement, but does not address domestic violence directly; cf. Eugene and Poling (1998).

  50. Nichols (1991) is one of the best and most sensitive books on divorce, from a liberal theological perspective, written in part from his own divorce experience. However, perhaps because his own experience as a divorced man, he mentions “abuse of tolerance” (134), but nowhere explicitly addresses the possibility of overt violence. In his chapter “Facing the Lost Cause,” he affirms the importance for marital partners of setting boundaries, and states that forgiveness does not mean one has to keep putting up with emotional pain. However, he continues to frame this pain in terms of mutual emotional harm: “…sometimes divorce can itself be a form of reconciliation: when the destructiveness ends because people have recognized a lost cause and refuse to go back for more mutual hurting.” (emphasis added, p. 140).

  51. The best is a recent workbook by Wood and Leber (2002). While brief, the authors state, “Of course when anger leads to physical violence this is never acceptable. Violence not only destroys conditions that allow for trust and intimacy to flourish, but it seriously endangers personal safety.” This statement is well placed in the section on “Understanding Power and Anger.” Donald Luther, in his otherwise comprehensive premarital workbook Preparing for Marriage (1992), includes a sidebar cautioning against physical violence. He frames it appropriately as a “means of control” (p. 52), however this is misplaced in the section on alcohol and drugs, and is not alluded to anywhere in the sections on conflict styles and “Our Worst Behavior.”

  52. See also http://www.prepare-enrich.com.

  53. In workshops, Hendrix (2011) continues to claim that Imago therapy is appropriate as a general approach for treating all couples, including those experiencing domestic violence. http://www.imagorelationships.org/.

  54. E.g., Coan et al. 1997. The National Domestic Violence Hotline was also listed under resources on the lab’s web site: http://www.gottman.com/ as of 2009, but no longer as of 2011.

  55. Wimberly, Chapters 1–2.

  56. E.g., Culbertson (1994), briefly addresses violence as “self-destructive urges misdirected externally,” but neglects the primary issue of power and control (pp. 65–66). In Culbertson’s edited volume, The Spirituality of Men (2002), violence against women is not addressed specifically in any single chapter. The anthology does include two thoughtful essays by Poling (2002) on “Masculinity, Competitive Violence and Christian Theology,” and Ellison (2002) on same sex domestic violence.

  57. Thanks to Charles Scalise of Fuller Seminary for this distinction.

  58. A search of the NANC web site http://www.nanc.org as of April, 2011, for “abuse” and “violence” yielded no articles on domestic violence. A previous search in January, 2005, yielded one article on counseling adult survivors of child sexual abuse (no longer on the site as of 2007), and none on violence.

  59. Citing an exegesis of I Cor. 7 by Murray (1961).

  60. A recent evangelical author, Whiteman (2005) retains the evangelical perspective that divorce is only for cases of adultery or desertion (online at www.aacc.net, as of January, 2005), although he acknowledges that Christians sometimes do divorce because of abuse (“substance, physical, and emotional”) http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/4903.htm: “The good news is we are staying together longer and taking marriage seriously, but the bad news is we're putting up with a lot more pain and ending up getting divorced anyway.”

  61. The clinical literature Collins cites is a strangely uncritical admixture, including legitimate experts on child abuse, but systematically ignoring literature on domestic violence other than the mutual violence research. There is no systematic review of established literature on any of the topics he addresses in this chapter. In the 3rd edition, a bibliography for further reading from the 2nd edition including Pellauer et al. (1987), is inexplicably removed. His primary source in the 3rd ed. for intimate partner violence is Martin (1987), with one footnote citation to Harway and Hansen (2004) (p. 909n).

  62. The battered women’s movement successfully advocated against mandatory reporting of adult-to-adult intimate violence on the grounds of self-determination and safety of adult victims. Well-meaning counselors can cause more harm than good by reporting against a victim’s wishes, due to the potential for retaliation by the abuser. Reporting only of child abuse and the abuse of elderly or legally incompetent adults is legally mandated in all 50 U.S. states.

  63. Violence within same-sex relationships is never considered, except in a separate chapter on homosexuality, in which clinical research cited is dubious and one-sided, and the goal of all counseling of homosexuals, while urged to be compassionate, is “change from homosexual tendencies and behaviors” (389) and “prevention of homosexuality” (394–396). The current AACC Code of Ethics (AACC Law and Ethics Committee 2004) absolutely requires Christian Counselors to subscribe to this point of view, and advocates “reparative therapy” to convert clients to heterosexuality. Section I-126 (p. 7) reads: “Christian counselors refuse to condone or advocate for the pursuit of or active involvement in homosexual, transgendered, and cross-dressing behavior, and in the adoption of gay & lesbian & transgendered lifestyles by clients. We may agree to and support the wish to work out issues of homosexual and transgendered identity and attractions, but will refuse to describe or reduce human identity and nature to sexual reference or orientation, and will encourage sexual celibacy or biblically proscribed [?] sexual behavior while such issues are being addressed. Christian counselors differ, on biblical, ethical, and legal grounds, with groups who abhor and condemn reparative therapy, willingly offering it to those who come into counseling with a genuine desire to be set free of homosexual attractions and leave homosexual behavior and lifestyles behind. Either goal of heterosexual relations and marriage or lifelong sexual celibacy is legitimate and a function of client choice in reparative therapy. It is acknowledged that some persons engaged in same-sex change or reparative therapy will be able to change and become free of all homo-erotic behavior and attraction, some will change but will still struggle with homosexual attraction from time to time, and some will not change away from homosexual practices.”

  64. Collins, 2nd ed. only (1988), 304, cites McNeely and Robinson-Simpson 1987, and K. Diegmueller, “The Battered Husband’s Case Shakes up Social Notions” [no imprint given]. The same statement is made in the 3rd ed., p. 412, but drops the citation. For a careful refutation of McNeely and Robinson-Simpson published in the next issue of the same journal (not cited by Collins), see Saunders et al. (1988); also Straton 2008.

  65. Citing Matt. 19:9 and I Cor. 7:15.

  66. See also Philippians 2:4. Fortune (1987) has made the classic exegetical argument against taking v. 22 in isolation (pp. 15–17); see also Clarke (1986), 61–74. The Alsdurfs (1989) attempt to retain an evangelical framework, while restating the idea of submission and the husband’s headship in terms of “equality in being, but inequality in function,” and the man’s power as sacrificial agape-love. They challenge the idea of family as a “chain of command” structure, and clearly define violence as misuse of power (pp. 82–95). They do not, however, in my view, go far enough in confronting an essentialist division of roles between the sexes that perpetuates hierarchy and inequality of power. Kroeger (2011a) attempts to reframe submission as complementary strength, but does not challenge the fundamental principle of “wifely submission.” Her article implies that if a wife would learn to speak up, her abuser would stop his violence.

  67. In contrast, Giblin’s article (1994) on the Marriage Encounter/Marriage Enrichment, does not acknowledge the critique of these programs’ failure to attend to domestic violence.

  68. Wimberly (1994) frames issues of men as “slaves to the cult of masculinity” but no mention of violence—only “aggressiveness” (p. 705).

  69. Goldberg (1994) mentions “control vs. submission” and “self destructive effects” but not violence. (p. 705.) Curiously, he names many psychological elements on the spectrum of aggression, but not violence itself.

  70. The web site of the American Association of Pastoral Counselors (http://www.aapc.org) does not contain a systematic listing of publications and resources, so no specific resources on domestic violence are officially offered or endorsed there. Individual members may post their own publications. As of April, 2011, there is one videorecording listed on domestic violence (Panos 2005). AAPC’s linked online journal Sacred Spaces has not yet addressed the specific topic of intimate partner violence, but has only published two issues to date: http://aapc.org/sacredspaces/.

  71. In their survey of 238 evangelical clergy, Beaman & Nason-Clark learned that most pastors feel inadequately prepared, and tend to frame abuse in terms of poor communication skills rather than power and control, although they do not condone violence, and do not turn women away (p. 126).

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Correspondence to Pamela Cooper-White.

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Cooper-White, P. Intimate Violence Against Women: Trajectories for Pastoral Care in a New Millennium. Pastoral Psychol 60, 809–855 (2011). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11089-011-0354-7

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